A little light humour
- pre65
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#1921 Re: A little light humour
"Oxford University researchers have discovered the densest element yet known to science.
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons".
The new element, Governmentium (symbol=Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called pillocks. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as a critical morass. When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium (symbol=Ad), an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many pillocks but twice as many morons".
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
- Mike H
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#1922 Re: A little light humour
Seen that a few years ago but still a good one.
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- jack
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#1924 Re: A little light humour
Sometimes James Corden makes me cringe, but that was very good indeed !
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt
- Cressy Snr
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#1926 Re: A little light humour
I like this:
Sgt. Baker started talkin’ with a Bullhorn in his hand.
- Irene Idler
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#1927 Re: A little light humour
"Hey, you know the rules, baby. If you wanna PLAY funky, you gotta SMELL funky." -- Mike Troutman
- Mike H
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#1928 Re: A little light humour
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- pre65
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#1929 Re: A little light humour
You been spying on me Mike ?
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
- Mike H
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#1930 Re: A little light humour
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- Mike H
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#1932 Re: A little light humour
From Soviet Steeds ...
-
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- IslandPink
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#1933 Re: A little light humour
"Once you find out ... the Circumstances ; then you can go out"
- Mike H
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#1935 Re: A little light humour
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."