A little light humour
- jack
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#1801 Re: A little light humour
That actually made me laugh. Thanks ,
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt
- The Stratmangler
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- IslandPink
- Amstrad Tower of Power
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#1803 Re: A little light humour
Tremendous !
"Once you find out ... the Circumstances ; then you can go out"
- IslandPink
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#1808 Re: A little light humour
It's just an embarrassment of riches. Thanks ! Some of those will be going round my work email tomorrow.
"Once you find out ... the Circumstances ; then you can go out"
- Mike H
- Amstrad Tower of Power
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#1811 Re: A little light humour
Luv the choccy bars one.
From Renault forums .....
Newport City Council have published extracts from letters of complaints written by residents:
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his c0ck wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman complaining about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
From Renault forums .....
Newport City Council have published extracts from letters of complaints written by residents:
1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his c0ck wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman complaining about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
"No matter how fast light travels it finds that the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it."
- pre65
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#1812 Re: A little light humour
Well done Mike, best laugh I've had for ages.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
Edmund Burke
G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)
#1813 Re: A little light humour
A Machine Learning Expert at an interview…
Interviewer: "What can you say is your biggest strength?"
ML Expert: "I'm an expert in machine learning."
Int.: What's 6 + 10?
ML E.: Zero.
Int.: That's not even close! it's 16!
ML E.: Okay, it's 16.
Int.: What's 10 + 20?
ML E.: It's 16.
Interviewer: "What can you say is your biggest strength?"
ML Expert: "I'm an expert in machine learning."
Int.: What's 6 + 10?
ML E.: Zero.
Int.: That's not even close! it's 16!
ML E.: Okay, it's 16.
Int.: What's 10 + 20?
ML E.: It's 16.
Sorry, I couldn't resist!
- shane
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#1814 Re: A little light humour
Interviewer: “What do you see as your biggest fault?”
Candidate: “I’m too honest.”
Interviewer: “Really? I don’t think I would regard that as a fault!”
Candidate: “ I don’t give a f*** what you think.”
Candidate: “I’m too honest.”
Interviewer: “Really? I don’t think I would regard that as a fault!”
Candidate: “ I don’t give a f*** what you think.”
The world looks so different after learning science. For example, trees are made of air, primarily. When they are burned, they go back to air, and in their flaming heat is released the flaming heat of the Sun which was bound in to convert air into tree.
- jack
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#1815 Re: A little light humour
Whilst doing the 10-yearly cleanup of our various PCs, I came across this gem. Worth a read. In detail...
http://www.27bslash6.com/halogen.html
Actually, his whole site is a great read - pick any article. Just wicked sense of humour...
http://www.27bslash6.com/halogen.html
Actually, his whole site is a great read - pick any article. Just wicked sense of humour...
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt