A little light humour

A place for the funny stuff
User avatar
jack
Social outcast
Posts: 3881
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:58 pm
Location: ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ oʇ ƃuıʌoɯ ƃuıɹǝpısuoɔ
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by jack » Wed May 20, 2020 5:14 pm

That actually made me laugh. Thanks , 8)
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt

User avatar
The Stratmangler
Shed dweller
Posts: 2502
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2007 1:50 pm
Location: Rossendale, Lancashire

Re: A little light humour

Post by The Stratmangler » Wed May 20, 2020 6:41 pm

Image
Chris :happy3:

User avatar
IslandPink
Social Sevices have been notified
Posts: 8157
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 7:01 pm
Location: Denbigh, N.Wales

Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink » Wed May 20, 2020 7:22 pm

Tremendous !
"Peridots and periwinkle, blue medallions Gilded galleons spilled across the ocean floor" ( Mitchell )

User avatar
jack
Social outcast
Posts: 3881
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:58 pm
Location: ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ oʇ ƃuıʌoɯ ƃuıɹǝpısuoɔ
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by jack » Tue May 26, 2020 8:55 am

IMG-20200526-WA0000.jpg
IMG-20200526-WA0001.jpg
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt

User avatar
Ali Tait
Social outcast
Posts: 3944
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: Galashiels

Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Tue May 26, 2020 5:15 pm

Image

User avatar
Ali Tait
Social outcast
Posts: 3944
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: Galashiels

Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Tue May 26, 2020 6:55 pm

Image

User avatar
Ali Tait
Social outcast
Posts: 3944
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: Galashiels

Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Tue May 26, 2020 6:56 pm

Image

User avatar
IslandPink
Social Sevices have been notified
Posts: 8157
Joined: Tue May 29, 2007 7:01 pm
Location: Denbigh, N.Wales

Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink » Tue May 26, 2020 9:38 pm

It's just an embarrassment of riches. Thanks ! Some of those will be going round my work email tomorrow.
"Peridots and periwinkle, blue medallions Gilded galleons spilled across the ocean floor" ( Mitchell )

User avatar
Ali Tait
Social outcast
Posts: 3944
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: Galashiels

Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Tue May 26, 2020 9:48 pm

Image

User avatar
Ali Tait
Social outcast
Posts: 3944
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:10 pm
Location: Galashiels

Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Wed May 27, 2020 2:19 pm

Image

User avatar
Mike H
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18834
Joined: Sat Oct 04, 2008 5:38 pm
Location: The Fens
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Sat Jun 06, 2020 7:58 pm

Luv the choccy bars one.

Image


From Renault forums .....

Newport City Council have published extracts from letters of complaints written by residents:

1. It's the dogs mess that I find hard to swallow.
2. I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.
3. I wish to complain that my father twisted his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his back passage.
4. Their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.
5. I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was bad wind the other day that blew them off.
6. My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?
7. I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.
8. Will you please send someone to mend the garden path. My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.
9. I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.
10. 50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster, and 50% are just plain filthy.
11. The next door neighbour has got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.
12. The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.
13. Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.
14. Our lavatory seat is broken in half and now is in three pieces.
15. I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6am his c0ck wakes me up and it's now getting too much for me.
16. The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.
17. Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third, so please send someone round to do something about it.
18. I am a single woman complaining about the noise made by the man on top of me every night.
19. Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife..
20. I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.
21. This is to let you know that our lavatory seat is broke and we can't get BBC2.
22. My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.
 
"Entrenched convictions cannot be changed by facts." – Dick Francis

User avatar
pre65
Amstrad Tower of Power
Posts: 18955
Joined: Wed Aug 22, 2007 11:13 pm
Location: North Essex

Re: A little light humour

Post by pre65 » Sat Jun 06, 2020 8:07 pm

Well done Mike, best laugh I've had for ages. :D
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. John Lennon

G-Popz THE easy listening connoisseur. (Philip)

User avatar
Ray P
Eternally single
Posts: 4273
Joined: Thu Nov 22, 2007 5:18 pm
Location: Somerset

Re: A little light humour

Post by Ray P » Wed Jul 08, 2020 8:07 am

A Machine Learning Expert at an interview…

Interviewer: "What can you say is your biggest strength?"

ML Expert: "I'm an expert in machine learning."

Int.: What's 6 + 10?

ML E.: Zero.

Int.: That's not even close! it's 16!

ML E.: Okay, it's 16.

Int.: What's 10 + 20?

ML E.: It's 16.

User avatar
shane
Social outcast
Posts: 3007
Joined: Sun Sep 16, 2007 12:09 pm
Location: Kept in a cool dry place.

Re: A little light humour

Post by shane » Wed Jul 08, 2020 10:20 am

Interviewer: “What do you see as your biggest fault?”

Candidate: “I’m too honest.”

Interviewer: “Really? I don’t think I would regard that as a fault!”

Candidate: “ I don’t give a f*** what you think.”

User avatar
jack
Social outcast
Posts: 3881
Joined: Wed Dec 29, 2010 8:58 pm
Location: ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ oʇ ƃuıʌoɯ ƃuıɹǝpısuoɔ
Contact:

Re: A little light humour

Post by jack » Wed Jul 15, 2020 5:04 pm

Whilst doing the 10-yearly cleanup of our various PCs, I came across this gem. Worth a read. In detail...

http://www.27bslash6.com/halogen.html

Actually, his whole site is a great read - pick any article. Just wicked sense of humour...
Vivitur ingenio, caetera mortis erunt

Post Reply