A little light humour

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IslandPink
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Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink » Tue May 23, 2017 6:12 pm

Chortle !
However - beware ! - there might be a named syndrome where you think everything is somehow connected to Gong or Hillage.
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Nick
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Nick » Tue May 23, 2017 6:44 pm

IslandPink wrote:
Tue May 23, 2017 6:12 pm
Chortle !
However - beware ! - there might be a named syndrome where you think everything is somehow connected to Gong or Hillage.
What you mean like this

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Russell%27s_teapot
Guns don't kill people; Physics kills people!

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andrew Ivimey
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Re: A little light humour

Post by andrew Ivimey » Tue May 23, 2017 9:02 pm

I think Bertrand Russel would have benefitted from getting out more. Still, you gotta larff.
Philosophers have only interpreted the world - the point, however, is to change it. No it isn't ... maybe we should leave it alone for a while.

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Mike H
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Tue May 23, 2017 11:08 pm

Removed.
Last edited by Mike H on Tue May 23, 2017 11:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
 
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Tue May 23, 2017 11:13 pm

Oo no stoppit it hurts ...

Sorry Renault forums again (!)

I wandered into work one day, to be told stop off at home, grab your passport, you're going to Antwerp, plane's booked for 11am.
Seems that a machine we had shipped two days before was being transferred from one ship to another in Antwerp.
And the driver had taken a short cut........
Height of packing case on trailer, 4.6 metres.
Height of bridge over shortcut, 4 metres.

Inspection then a meeting to report to various interested parties, reps from 2 or 3 insurance companies, reps from docks, shipping line etc.
And me, as the "expert" on the machine.

My two word opening line wasn't well received....
"It's F**ked"


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andrew Ivimey
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Re: A little light humour

Post by andrew Ivimey » Tue May 23, 2017 11:31 pm

I've been thinking about this for some time; I've worked with children with Tourette's Syndrome and , when I lived in Brighton there was a 'safe home' (care in the community - remember this Thatcherite stuff, for better or ill) where one young man used to stand outside, two doors down and have a good shout. Challenging stuff to the good citizens of Hamilton Rd and the Prestonville Arms opposite, and there is only one form of Tourette's where the person loses all notion of sexual inhibition and b) shouts about it and/or swears.

This posted website may be an attempt, through humour, to educate the people about Tourette's - its got to to start somewhere ...

But it isn't funny.

Or we're back to spastics, the Irish, Jews etc etc etc

I don't like this sort of thing.
Philosophers have only interpreted the world - the point, however, is to change it. No it isn't ... maybe we should leave it alone for a while.

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Mike H
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:42 pm

Source:
https://www.wimp.com/her-ex-husband-got ... -surprise/



Her Ex-Husband Got The House In The Divorce, But He Was In For A Very Smelly Surprise.

They say that revenge is a dish best served cold, but this incredible story puts a bit of a twist on it. True account or pure fish story? We can't be sure, but it'll bring you a laugh nonetheless.

After 37 years of marriage, Jake dumped his wife for his young secretary.

His new girlfriend demanded that they live in Jake and Edith’s multi-million dollar home. Since Jake had better lawyers, he prevailed. He gave Edith, his now ex-wife, just 3 days to move out. She spent the 1st day packing her belongings into boxes and crates.

On the 2nd day, she had two movers come and collect her things. On the 3rd day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and stuffed half-eared shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of all the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When Jake returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything- cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even replaced the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

Edith called Jake and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were the sign the papers that very day. She agreed and within the hour, his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later, Jake and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home...

Including the curtain rods.


Credit: The San Francisco Globe


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Ali Tait
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:48 am

Image
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Mike H
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:37 pm

:lol:
 
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Mike H
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Mike H » Tue Jun 06, 2017 6:26 pm

long-arms-bike.jpg

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Ali Tait
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:34 pm

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IslandPink
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Re: A little light humour

Post by IslandPink » Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:35 pm

That one's a keeper !
Motto for 2017 : "Less lashed-up than last time"

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Ali Tait
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Re: A little light humour

Post by Ali Tait » Fri Jun 23, 2017 9:50 pm

I liked it. :D

Be a good T shirt. Where's Nick when you need him..
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